Walking Simulator
by Kaylyssa Quinn
I watch him play video games
just like Lana would, dutiful
in my sundress. I put Lana into my ears
and run. When the song ends
I’m sitting on the ugly couch
doing nothing, he is playing
Rocket League for hours. I’m so far
away from everything I wanted
but when he pins me down
I think it’s worth it. He doles
himself out to me, just enough
to keep me alive
if you can call this living. I take
out my sketchpad and draw Goku,
carefully shading his bulging traps
and orange coveralls. If I ever
hear the background music
of Dragonball Z: Kakarot, I will
have a flashback, I will go
to the hospital and give
my medical history: I was
a chameleon girlfriend. My heart
doesn’t beat on its own. Hook me up
to a man, any man!
Walking simulators were my favorite,
something akin to art. The sound
of rain and Bikini Kill shushing
me instead. He controls
the mystery as I watch. I don’t know
if he ever read a book but he lived
as a fire lookout in Shoshone National Forest
before he tossed the controller
and rolled his eyes.
In Life is Strange you are
a teenage girl who can rewind time.
I watched him rewind and rewind.
Every moment I didn’t press the button
to rewind myself brought me further
into the game. To win the game
I finally figured out what to do.
You have to stretch your own
hand out in front of your real life
face. Use your actual finger to hit
Eject. Chop the disc with a knife
and toss the glittering pieces into a box
canyon. Maybe birds will use the shards
to decorate their nests in the crags,
I don’t care, I am long gone.
I am taking a walk.
About the Author
Kaylyssa Quinn lives in Atlanta, Georgia. Her writing has been published in Thimble, Propagule, tinywords, and elsewhere. She can be found at kaylyssa.com.
